Grief, the Unconscious Mind, and the Path to Healing: A Personal Journey
Let’s be real—grief changes you.
And when I say that, I don’t mean in a poetic, Instagram-quote kind of way. I mean grief physically, emotionally, and mentally rewires how you move through the world. I’ve lived it.
A year ago, I lost my brother. He was only 39.
There’s no way to prepare for something like that. The shock. The ache. The confusion. It felt like my world tilted overnight. But what I didn’t expect was how grief quietly nestled into my nervous system—how it became part of my every breath, every thought, every day.
As a coach, I work with people who are stuck, who carry invisible weight they can’t name. But after losing my brother, I knew in a deeper way what that stuckness felt like. Grief can become your baseline. And if we don’t work with it, not around it, it will quietly run the show from the inside out.
Here’s what I’ve learned—not just through personal experience, but through the powerful blend of neuroscience, coaching, and the inner work I guide my clients through:
Grief Lives in the Unconscious Mind
The unconscious mind is always working in the background. It’s the storehouse of our beliefs, our memories, our identities—and yes, our emotional responses to pain.
When grief isn’t fully processed, the unconscious doesn’t just “remember” the loss—it builds patterns around it. It may start small: increased fatigue, lack of motivation, a short fuse, difficulty sleeping. But over time, your mind adapts to that state of grief like it’s your new normal.
That’s when resistance begins to show up. You want to feel better. You want to move forward. But something inside you says, Not yet. Not safe. That’s your unconscious mind doing its job—to keep you in the familiar. Even if that familiar is sadness.
Creating Safety Within the Body
Here’s the truth we often avoid talking about: unprocessed grief doesn’t just sit in your mind—it takes up space in your body.
When your body stays in a prolonged stress response—tight chest, shallow breathing, muscle tension, insomnia—it’s signaling that your nervous system hasn’t felt safe in a long time.
Chronic grief can lead to:
Elevated cortisol levels
Digestive issues
Weakened immune function
Brain fog or forgetfulness
Emotional dysregulation
Your body begins to mirror the emotional state of unresolved grief, and unless we intervene with compassion and intentional practice, it will keep repeating that loop indefinitely.
That’s where my coaching comes in.
Inside MindShift Coaching, we work on more than “feeling better.” We work on helping the body remember what safety feels like. What peace feels like. What a future beyond grief could feel like—even if you can’t fully imagine it yet.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Human
Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a sacred process that deserves time, compassion, and space to breathe. But staying there long-term—stuck in the stress, the guilt, the confusion—that’s not your only option.
Through our work together, I help you gently uncover the patterns grief has left behind:
Emotional shutdown that masks itself as “strength”
Guilt for moving forward
Subconscious beliefs that healing equals forgetting
And we begin to shift them—softly, safely, and at your pace.
Because you don’t need to “get over it.” You just need to learn how to carry it in a way that honors your love and your life.
Final Thoughts
If you’re carrying grief—whether from a recent loss or something you’ve held for years—know this: you’re not alone. You’re not “stuck” forever. And healing doesn’t mean letting go of the person you lost—it means choosing to live fully, in their honor.
You don’t have to navigate this path alone.
Let’s help your body remember what it feels like to live again.
